#mentalhealth – Holly Smith

Ever thought about the unintended consequences that social media has on your mental health? Social media may have no impact on you at all, but earlier this year I decided to take a social media break for a week. Why?

At times social media was taking over and I was becoming reliant on this to occupy myself and automatically reaching for it without any real need to. This got me wondering what makes social media so attractive and why it’s so easy to invest chunks of time scrolling on it. Instagram is what I’d generally spend more time on, then Facebook next. Twitter not so much. I’ve noticed more that at times everything is glamorised, whether it be out for food, making a coffee, shopping or at the gym. Why is it that we do those things.

Habits Measured Up

My habits usually involved mindlessly viewing, liking and moving on. Even story-watching things that don’t interest me. This was becoming more apparent, especially when a glance at my phone turned into 30 minutes and missing half of a new episode on Netflix. I’m sure we’ve all been there. Of course, social media has so many positives aspects, from keeping in touch with old friends and family that live a long distance, being able to announce life events and giving us more awareness on important topics. Not to mention the self-care tips and inspiration pages. However, these platforms in excess have negative impacts on mental health and self-esteem, so when these habits creep back I know its time for a break.

Reasons To Take A Social Media Detox

1. COMPARISON

We all have those triggers that make us feel less-than or self-conscious. Truthfully, all of us showcase the best parts of our lives on social media and reality is often lost, meaning that whether it be conscious or sub-conscious we compare our lives to others, even people we don’t know. Throughout life, we all would’ve compared ourselves to other successes, looks or achievements at some point. This can bring massive inspirations and be informative. Maybe this is just me, but my feed is often filled with people buying homes, flashy cars and booking the best-looking holiday just to name a few. It’s so easy to get caught up in the comparison trap and no wonder this creates underlying pressures. My point is, surely comparing your average everyday life to the best parts of other peoples filtered Instagram squares will likely make you feel like you’re slacking and maybe even get you analysing your own life based other peoples. Everyone has those big milestones or goals in life they want to reach, but it’s important to remember that everyone is facing their battles and fears. Ultimately life isn’t a race, so run your path and let others run theirs. Taking a break from social media is a good reminder of this.

2. RECLAIM YOUR TIME BACK

I was shocked by the number of times I picked my phone up in the evenings, was it because I was bored or because I needed to fill that space in between activities just to feel productive. Who knows. Even if it’s simply waiting for the kettle to boil downstairs, why do I need to bring my phone with me? There’s even a ‘look up’ campaign to stop people scrolling whilst walking. That’s saying something. Putting some boundaries in place by either deleting the apps completely or setting screen time limits on my settings made me so much more mindful. I felt more present and not so lost in the real-but-not-real world behind my screen. I then had more time to unwind after work properly and do the things I’d been putting off (like taxing my car!). My mum was also a little taken back when she saw me hoovering, but buying a Kindle was the best part because it made me realise how much I’d missed picking up a good twisty thriller.

It’s probably not surprising to hear that there have been links found between sleep problems and social media. The majority of my weekdays involve sat looking at a screen for 8 hours in work mode to then watching TV in the evenings, by adding that up to social media usage my eyes were probably not getting much of break. I may be an early riser but I love a good sleep as much as the next person, so if time away from apps and mindlessly scrolling helps me not have a disrupted sleep, I’m all in. Scrolling for holidays if exempt from this I might add.

3. YOU WON’T LOSE FRIENDSHIPS

Social media can often lead you into the trap of having your happiness to be too dependant on others validations, meaning the amount of likes and comments gained. Whilst its a nice feeling to think everyone cares, its more important to question how much that matters. Those people I consider my close friends would get more than just a happy birthday post on their feed or liking their latest photos. To be honest, my closest friends I rarely interact with on social media, but more face-to-face interactions, group chats, FaceTime calls or texts. Basically in more personal ways. My point is, happiness should not be sustained by your social media interactions and a true friendship wouldn’t end by deactivating your accounts. Well, you’d hope not!

4. IT CAN HELP CURB YOUR FOMO (FEAR OF MISSING OUT)

Just trying to avoid social media can create FOMO all on its own. Whether its a fear of missing plans, someone’s big life announcement or a new trend. This is probably what led to me waking up and checking my social media notifications before even getting out of bed. It’s a natural, yet undesirable way of reacting to certain situations, but once you learn to stop the habit of checking up on social events that you’re not attending, or even caring, you can spend more time doing the things you love. Even if that does involve binge-watching Gavin & Stacey for the 5th time. Reality is, if its that important, your friends, family and group chats will take care of that. Once I got past this stage, it was like a weight was lifted. It all made me feel less anxious in a way I couldn’t explain. Bonus.

Overall I feel that social media and its intentions have changed so much. It’s gone from MSN and going to the local library with friends to use Facebook at aged 11, to the perfect filters and glamorised everything. I don’t intend just yet to delete social media permanently, but I’ve learned that balance is key. I’m a lot more conscious of how much time I spend on social media, what I choose to engage with and importantly, learning that a little break once in a while doesn’t hurt.

Ever thought about how your social media usage impacts you?

Deciding to quit your job, pack your bags and say your goodbyes would seem like the hardest part, right? At least, that’s what I thought.

Back To Reality

After 4 months in America I was back in my childhood bedroom, watching TV on my laptop and unpacking a new wardrobe I’d managed to build up (enough t-shirts to last a lifetime actually!). I’d forgotten why I even applied to University, what I was doing before I left and worst of all, what direction to take with my life.

Friends and family were doing the same as I left them – same jobs, relationships and social circles. Nothing had changed. That was the confusing part because it felt like everything had changed. But it wasn’t them that had changed, it was myself. The way my ambitions changed, the way I perceived people differently and the new things that were important to me. I felt completely out of place and disconnected, which is funny considering I’d grown up in the same place for 19 years.

After plenty of hugs, catch-ups and my family now content I’m back safe at home, it’s expected that you will fall straight back into normal life like you never left. The truth is, returning home is tough and few people I feel would openly address this.

Post-Travel Depression (PTD)

More than just your typical holiday blues. So much there’s even an acronym for it – PTD.

It hit me before my flight landed on homeland when I saw the landing strip at Heathrow Airport – small, grey and windy. I felt like such a bigger person than before I had left (not due to the amount of Taco Bell’s consumed) but like a sense of accomplishment for finally ticking off those big bucket list items. I returned with zero in my bank balance but instead a year worth of stories, and probably over-using the phrase “one time at camp…”.

The weird part is that nobody can ever really say anything negative about coming home after travelling, so saying how I really felt never came to mind. I mean, who wants to listen to you talk about the downside of having the best adventure that you chose to do? Therefore, you move on with things. Or try to.

PTD can’t just be attributed to a reverse culture shock and I wish I took it more seriously. But if you do experience any of the same below, I encourage you to do just that. Take it serious.

Continuous low mood
Anxious, upset or tearful most of the time
Low energy/irritability
Avoiding leaving the house so to not have to engage with others
The feeling that your life will not be as fulfilling as it was when abroad
Spending excessive amounts of time engaging with friends abroad online instead of those around you
Changes in weight/appetite

Steps To Overcoming

Accepting your new reality is part of overcoming post-travel depression. So whether you’re experiencing this or just feeling uneasy about returning to old routines, here are other ways to make this adjustment easier.

Don’t go back to work/studying immediately – making the most of my visa meant I had four days in between arriving home and starting back 2nd year of Uni full-time. Not the best idea Holl! If I had given myself time to adjust and overcome jet lag properly, this would’ve helped massively. Aim to give yourself as much time as possible and find that new routine. Don’t even rush to unpack if it’s too straining, just hug your dog, cat or just catch up on Netflix.

Jet lag hitting mid-lecture

Go explore your local areas – the truth is, I’d forgotten about what I loved at home, from favourite home meals to pass times. Even my favourite beach. Take a look at your own city with eyes of a tourist, it’s amazing how you’ll come to appreciate your own culture by just being away for a little while (for me that was realising how much I missed a Tesco meal deal!). Taking that time to remember or even find new places can really help reverse that culture shock. As tempting as it is, don’t stay in bed. Keep busy and get yourself out there.

Catch up with friends – one of the best ways to get passed this phase is to surround yourself with other people. Isolating yourself will only increase those negative post-travel blues. If it hadn’t been for my best friend nagging me to come over, I would’ve isolated myself more. So for that, I’m lucky. I’ll admit, at times I was too busy catching up with my friends that we’re now scattered across far parts of the UK. This does help, but connecting and surrounding yourself with friends still at home helps even more.

Take care of yourself – being on the road and stopping off for food, any idea of healthy eating goes out the window (healthy eating in America is somewhat a challenge!). Try a long walk, go to the gym, go swimming or just getting an early night. Take time at home as an opportunity to take care of your diet and overall well-being.

Be grateful – although travelling is not all plain sailing, not everyone gets that opportunity. Be thankful for all those experiences and places you can say you’ve been. Start by making that Pinterest-perfect photo collage and be thankful for everything you learned. Maybe even jot them down. You’ll come to realise this will be more than you thought.

Three Years Later

I’m still shocked by the impact that coming home had. But is this a reason to not travel? Absolutely not. Jump on that plane. More importantly, I’ve realised that feeling devastated post-travelling isn’t that strange when you’ve had the biggest life experience. I still love the city I live in and appreciate everything it has to offer.

The good news is, once you’ve seen a part of the world, exploring another part doesn’t feel as intimidating. It took me a while to come to terms with, but it is possible to have an equally fulfilling life after spending time abroad.

“No-one realises how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow” Lin Yutang

After reading many other blogs, it seems this is more common than I imagined. So, I hope that sharing my experience can help others if they’re finding things tough returning home after long-term travelling. And always keep in mind, the best is yet to come.

I’d be really interested to hear any thoughts on this:

Is this something you’ve experienced? Did your experience differ from what I’ve mentioned? Did I miss a tip that you think is essential?

Let me know!

Tag: #mentalhealth

Reasons To Take A Social Media Break